KEEPING YOUR CHILD SAFE IS OUR PRIORITY
GKC instructors and mentors are trained in Safe Touch, focusing on sovereignty over one’s body. We explicitly teach which areas of the body are private, the emotional impact of safe and unsafe touch, and what to do if you experience unsafe or unwanted touches. Join our community today to help keep your children safe and get access to resources to guide your family skillfully through difficult conversations!
3 Kinds of Touches
- Safe touches. Touches that keep children safe and make them feel cared for and important are good for them. Safe touches can include hugging, pats on the back, and an arm around the shoulder. Safe touches can also include touches that might hurt, such as removing a splinter. When you remove a splinter, you are doing so to keep them healthy, which makes it a safe touch.
- Unsafe touches. These touches hurt children’s bodies or feelings (for example, hitting, pushing, pinching, and kicking) are not okay.
- Unwanted touches. These are touches that might be safe but that a child doesn’t want from that person or at that moment. It is okay for a child to say “no” to an unwanted touch, even if it is from a familiar person. GKC teaches children to set verbal boundaries by practicing saying “no” in a firm yet polite voice.
Touching Safety Rules
Another kind of unsafe touch is when a bigger person touches you on your private body parts, and it is not to keep you clean or healthy. Your private body parts are the places that your bathing suit covers.
- It is never okay for a bigger person to touch your private body parts except to keep you clean and healthy. This ” clean ” rule applies to young children assisted by adults with diaper changes, toilet use, or bathing. The “healthy” part refers to doctor visits, like when a child gets a shot.
- It is not okay to touch someone else’s private body parts.
- It is not okay for someone to touch his or her private body parts in front of you.
- It is not okay for someone to ask you to touch his or her private body parts.
- It is not okay for someone to ask you to take your clothes off except if they are a doctor helping to see if you are hurt or sick.
- It is not okay for someone to take photos or videos of you with your clothes off.
- It is not okay for someone to show you photos or videos of people without their clothes on.
- You can decide who can touch you, who can kiss you, or who can hug you. You have the right to say “no.”
What to do if someone touches you in an unsafe way?
- Say no! Tell the person that you don’t like it and don’t want to be touched.
- Get away fast! Run away from the person whose touch you don’t like. Never stay alone with that person ever again.
- Call for help. You can scream.
- Believe in yourself. You did nothing wrong.
- If someone touches you in an unsafe way, tell someone you trust what has happened. Don’t let threats scare you into running away or keeping quiet.
- If someone touches you and asks you to keep it a secret between you, ask yourself, “Does the secret bother me?” Don’t keep secrets that make you feel uncomfortable. Go to a person you trust, a parent, a relative, or a teacher. If the person you go to doesn’t believe you, go to someone else you trust until someone believes you and helps you.
- Do everything you can to avoid the person touching you in an unsafe way or making you feel uncomfortable. Don’t stay alone with a person who touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable or makes you feel unsafe.
Good Touch
- It feels good to be hugged and kissed by the people you love. For example, when your mom or dad hugs and kisses you after you wake up.
- When Daddy gives you a good-night hug and kiss.
- When relatives visit, you may want hugs and kisses.
Bad Touch
Touches that make you feel uncomfortable are usually bad touches. You don’t have to keep a secret when someone gives you bad touch. Don’t feel that you are bad. Whoever gives you a bad touch is the bad one, not you. Your body belongs to you. Nobody should touch you if you don’t want to be touched.
- It is a bad touch if it hurts you.
- It is a bad touch if someone touches you on your body where you don’t want to be touched.
- It is a bad touch if the person touches you under your clothing or tickles you under the clothing.
- It is a bad touch if someone touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable.
- It is a bad touch if it makes you feel scared and nervous.
- It is a bad touch if a person forces you to touch him or her.
- It is a bad touch if someone asks you not to tell anyone.
- It is a bad touch if a person threatens to hurt you if you tell.
Unfortunately, some people may abuse the trust they are given. The person who touches children in a way they don’t like is the person doing something wrong, not the child. This kind of abuse is always the fault of the bigger, older, or stronger person.